Coming Out of the Closet, Bag & Box…#2
WWMD
Spring. That’s when I make my resolutions. I can smell the lilacs blooming
and I start planning: my garden, my summer, my new diet and work out
routines. I envision my way to exciting career changes, a bountiful income,
improved parenting skills, increased dedication to my husband and friends –
and once the blooms start fading on my lilac, the urgency and passion that
fueled the resolution dissipate. I’m left staring at the brown patch that
is my back yard, and the fat jeans I’ve been wearing for years. I sigh, pour
myself some coffee, and deal with whatever’s right in front of me.
That’s kinda the way I’ve been feeling this past week. A little deflated.
So.
True to this less than endearing self-defeatism, when Miriam rang the
doorbell this week, I wasn’t even home.
I felt overwhelmed. With Miriam at my side, the week before, I felt we could
totally master it. With her gone I felt increasingly dismayed. Each
consecutive time I peeked into the room to take pride in what we’d done I
felt like I was staring at the worst domestic train wreck. Every glance
highlighted areas that I didn’t even know how to approach, much less
dismantle.
Over the course of a week I’d gone from enthusiastic organization convert to
stagnating doubt: I’d stare at piles of unfolded laundry, stacks of books
and towers of Tupperware with one thought: What would Miriam do?
So again, from outside the house, Miriam told me: Of course you feel
overwhelmed. The adrenaline rushes away and leaves, in its place, the need
for a system. And that’s what we’ll work on.
Systems.
I invited her in, made the coffee and we got to work.
Coffees in hand we slowly entered ground zero… the future playroom, which is
still the storage space from hell. Miriam has the before picture on her
camera and feels quite pleased with the progress we’ve made. But in my mind
all I hear is condemnation over our lack of progress, a nagging voice that
tells me I’m never going to pull this off.
I was stunned to see how quickly we got back into the groove of organizing.
The boxes from the week before were begging to be added to. We
reconsolidated toys and office supplies, and old computer parts and old
birthday cards. We moved things from containers that were too small to
containers that were just the right size. We consolidated categories (like,
um, the plastic bugs and the rainforest animals) freeing up space. The floor
space started expanding. It truly seemed like the sun was shining a little
more directly into the room (true. Also, Miriam opened the blinds. She’s
subtle that way).
Tactic? Says Miriam, create the floor space by grouping items, consolidating
the groups and recognizing how to make individual decisions about what to
keep and what to lose.
Case in point: Miriam picked up a seven-year old stapled handbook from the
very first day care center my son attended. “Do you need this?” she asked.
Me: “Uh…”
Miriam: “Does it have special meaning to you?”
Me: “Uh…”
Miriam: “If you throw it out, will you forget you have a son?”
Me: “:-)”
We reached the closet. The dress I wore to my beloved sister’s wedding.
Miriam held the hanger high. “Do you want to keep this?” she asked.
Me: “Uh…”
Miriam: Will you ever wear it again?”
Me: “Uh…”
Miriam: “If you give it away, will you forget you went to your sister’s
wedding?”
Me: “:-)”
An old trunk that, for five years (or ten?) had been sitting on the floor
was opened. It was empty. It now contains my wedding memorabilia and cards
from past birthdays and Christmases. Kids artwork. All contained in one
place.
My children – the same children that refuse to give their baby teeth to the
tooth fairy and still sleep with their receiving blankets – are tantalized
by seeing their dream play room come to life are finally FINALLY sorting
their own stuff, assigning new ownership to old toys.
My husband, inspired by our commitment, committed himself to tackling three
boxes of old magazines, paperwork and projects. Will it be hard for him?
Absolutely. Let’s face it: We’ve not been storing things; we’ve been
abandoning them. And we abandoned this stuff because we just don’t want to
deal with it. There are life chapters we don’t want to close. There are
moments in time that are stuck in limbo: we don’t want to expose them, but
we can’t bury them. And they linger, on our floors, in our closets, jammed
onto shelves and forgotten in bags and boxes that take up much more than
physical space.
But the physical space is the tangible canvas we can gesso over and repaint
with images of who we want to be NOW. And, I think, next time Miriam comes
by I’ll be home to greet her.
Tags: clutter, decisions, memorabilia, organizing, Simplifying, toys
You have made Frank and my night! You are too, too funny!
Oh dear, I just had to laugh out loud. My girls are 25 and 22 years old. They live away, have jobs, have benefits :)
But, I STILL have a few boxes in the basement with their kindergarten, 1st grade, 2nd grade papers. Not ALL the papers, just the ’special ones’.
I am sure someday their daughters will want to see them right? Well, maybe not.
Food for thought none the less. Maybe I’ll wait till I move. (yes, Miriam, I can hear you…..)
Kim